My Journey

        Through out Siddhartha's journey, he finds himself by listening and following many teachers during his life. Before high school most of us came from middle schools where we had friends who went off to different schools. My friend Mariya and I had to part just like Govinda and Siddhartha did when Govinda went to follow Buddha. She went to The Acadamey of Holy Angels, while I of course went to Paramus Catholic High School. As a freshmen I entered Paramus Catholic with the same kind of mindset Siddhartha did. I started my freshman year looking for knowledge, friendship, and happiness. I was also trying to find myself in the process. I like Siddhartha had many wise teachers who taught me many lessons and who challenged me in many ways. After my freshman year, I thought I had it made. My life was finally in the place I had wanted it to be.
 
        By  around the end of my junior year I thought that my life needed a change. The friendships I once had freshman year had changed and I decided that it was time to move on. As time passed and prom was rolling around the corner, I began to part slowly from my friends just like Siddhartha did from Kamala and Samsara. I soon became closer with the people whom I now call my third family along with the people from Madrigal Choir in school and of course my own blood related family. These friends like the Vesudeva comforted me in my time of need. They understood what I was going through. By being around them, I have finally been able to find myself and be true to who I am.

        Now that senior year has come, I have this bitter sweet feeling in my heart. I never understood what Father Larry meant when he said that senior year was bitter sweet until now. I am at a cross road where I have many paths to take but I am only allowed to take one road. " I want to remain by this river, it is the same one that I crossed while going to the child people. A friendly ferryman ferried me then, I will go to him. From his hut my way once led me to a new life, which has now grown and died--may my new life start out from there!" (89). This quote reminds me of how I feel about this school year. Part of me wants to stay home and in high school where I'm comfortable. The other part wants to go off on her own, adventure, and be independent. Like Siddhartha, I want to stay where I'm comfortable, but soon enough graduation will arrive and like a young bird I too will have to fly from my nest into a new world. In a way, Paramus Catholic is the hut where I will end one part of my journey and begin the next part of my adventure in life.

Freshman year

Senior year

Siddartha's Journey: Vasudeva

Quote: " I want to remain by this river, it is the same one that I crossed while going to the child people. A friendly ferryman ferried me then, I will go to him. From his hut my way once led me to a new life, which has now grown old and died-may my new way, my new life start out from there!"(89). The quote symbolizes Siddhartha's on going spirtual growth through out the story. During each part of his journey, he changes himself physically, mentally, spiritually, and socially. In this last section of his life, he finds a new awakening and calling which will lead him to the coveted enlightenment he has been searching for.

Physically: Physically, Siddhartha remained the same since the previous chapter. He continued to stay by the river. He then meets the ferryman once again. They make an agreement to live and work together. Together, the work, eat, sleep and speak about the things about being a ferryman.

Mentally: While he was with Vasudeva, Siddhartha learned many things about the river and himself. Siddhartha is happy at this point in his life and is a peace. He learns that the river has many voices and that when all sounds and voices are in unison the sound "Om" appears. He also learned that time does not exist and that all suffering and difficulties are anchored in time. Siddhartha also realized the connection between he life after his first awakenment and his life by the river. When Kamala and his son arrive to the river, Siddhartha is proud to have a son, but he is saddened by the fact that Kamala passed away before she was able to meet Buddha, a person she had been longing to meet.

Spiritually:  At this point in his life Siddhartha is completely at peace with life. He is happy to have a son and he is well on the way to enlightenment. By learning all the truths about the river, he feels happy by the fact that Vasudeva is proud of his learning.

Socially: After time passed, he and Vasudeva became very close friends. He was the student learning everything about the river from his new mentor. Soon they learn that Buddha is old and is dying. Then, Kamala and her son pass by them on their trip to meet the "enlightened one" before he passes away. Siddhartha learns that the boy is his son and is proud to be a father. After Kamala passes, he tried to form a relationship with his son, but forming a relationship with someone who is depressed by witnessing their mother's death is not an easy task.

Siddartha's Journey: By the River

Quote: " He yearned to know nothing more about himself, to find peace, to be dead"(77). In this part of Siddhartha's journey, he is deeply depressed about the life he lead for the past couple years. Sadly, He believes that he can't go home and return to his previous life styles either. At this point, he believes life would be much better if he no longer existed.

Physically: Siddhartha has gained weight and is healthy looking once again. He's traveling through the woods and finds himself by the river. He then attempts to commit suicide by immersing himself into the water. Then the words of the "Om" re-awakened his spirit. He gets out of the water and falls asleep by the river. When Siddhartha wakes up he realizes that Govinda is sitting across from him meditating, but Govinda did not recognize him. After they speak, Siddhartha decides to stay by the river.

Mentally: Siddhartha was in a bad place mentally when he decided to commit suicide. After he realized that he was making a bad choice, he thought it was best to stay alive. Siddhartha then realizes that his whole path to enlightenment was the wrong way of approaching it. He thinks that by joining the Samanas or  Buddha will not bring him close to his enlightenment. He basically realizes that he has been looking in all the wrong places for enlightenment.

Spiritually: Siddhartha's spirituality is reawakened in this chapter. He finally gets back onto the path he needed to be on since he left Govinda. When he attempted to commit suicide, the word of the "Om" had brought him back and  had re-incarnated him spiritually. He felt that after he spoke with Govinda and after he was given a second chance at life, that a new Siddhartha was born. He also felt that he had to experience everything he went through in Samsara. With out being there a new Siddhartha would not have been born.

Socially: Socially, in this chapter Siddhartha is very much alone until he speaks with Govinda again. He's happy to speak with his old friend, but he has not interacted with anyone else. After Govinda leaves, Siddhartha is on his own again.   

Siddartha's Journey: In Samsara

Quote:  " Siddhartha felt that his previous life too was remaining behind in this grove and separating from him. This sensation filled him fully, and he mused about it as he slowly walked away"(35). At this point of his life, Siddhartha feels like he has left his childhood behind with Buddha and Govinda. As he walks away, he feels as if he has become a man finally. Soon after he leaves Govinda, Siddhartha has his awakening and feels an inspiration to do something with his life.

Physically: Siddhartha begins his new journey after his awakening and walks on the road to Samsara. He then crosses over the river with the help from a ferryman. After he makes it into town he then reaches the pleasure garden that belongs to a courtesan called Kamala. He leaves the garden and comes back to visit Kamala once again. After speaking with Kamala he changes his appearance. He then meets a man named Kawaswami who was a merchant and receives a job from him. Many years later in Samsara Siddhartha has gained a lot of weight and is now a wealthy merchant.

Mentally:  After his awakening Siddhartha was at a state where he wanted to feel what is was like to have a life of pleasure. He wanted to experience all different types of pleasure, from having  a lot money to drinking wine. Kamala had told him that she could help him gain experience only if he cleaned himself up and if got a job. Many years later Siddhartha felt lost once again. While in Samsara he took a detour from his journey onto enlightenment. He then makes a decision to leave his life of wealth and pleasure behind in Samasara and to move back onto the his path of completing his journey.

Spiritually: Siddhartha lost his spirituality while he was in Samsara. He was more focused on having fun rather than focusing on his spiritual side. While he sat in his pleasure garden he realized that he needed to return back to his life of focusing on getting closer to Nirvana. At this point in his life he has no peace, limited happiness, and he is enlightened and decides to return to his journey.

Socially: Since his awakening,  Siddhartha has met many people. He met the Ferryman, Kamala, Kawaswami, and many other people in Samsara. He is a very popular and wealthy man. He has a deep and close relationship with Kamala who he considers his friend. He and Kawasawmi have become good friends as well since he made Kawasawmi more wealthy.

Siddartha's Journey: With Buddah

Quote:" You are clever O samana, you know how to speak cleverly my friend,. Beware of too much cleverness!" (34). This quote reflects how Siddhartha's yearning for knowledge actually helps him through out his journey. By using his mind, Siddhartha overcomes many of the obstacles he faces in later chapters. His mind helps him find the inner self that he has been searching for through out the whole novel.

Physically: During this part of his journey, Siddhartha is still thin due to the Samana belief that one must stave themselves to not feel suffering. In the beginning of the chapter, he and Govinda are in a small town where they meet a woman who has seen Buddha. She gives them a description of how Buddha acts and looks when he is in town asking for food. They then leave her home and fall asleep in the in the woods. When they wake up, they see many of Buddha's followers in the forest. They then see Buddha walking completely at peace and follow him into town and back to the grove where he teaches. That night both Siddhartha and Govinda listened to Buddha's teachings and Govinda decided to become one of his many followers, while Siddhartha thought it was best he and Govinda part their separate ways. After he leaves his old friend, he speaks with Buddha about his teachings.

Mentally: At this point in his journey Siddhartha is in a good place mentally. He is no longer upset about trying to over come suffering. He does not agree with Buddha's teaching that one must overcome suffering by going through the eight fold path to get past suffering and accepting the four noble truths. He does agree that life is a chain and that every experience is interconnected with other experiences. Siddharthda believes that by following Buddha, he may not gain enlightenment. At the end of their conversation Siddhartha realizes that he has lost his friend, but he has found himself through speaking with Buddha.

Spiritually: Siddhartha still has not gained his enlightenment, but he has found himself. Finding who he really is has made him elated. He now feels more complete on his journey towards enlightenment and Nirvana.  Emotionally, at first he is pensive about what Buddha is teaching. Then he feels sad about leaving his best friend, but after  he finds Siddhartha feels happy especially when his discussion with Buddha is over.   

Socially: After leaving the Samanas, Govinada and Siddhartha meet new people. They first meet the women who kindly gives them food when they asked. They then meet the man everyone is talking so highly about, Buddha. Siddhartha's social status is pretty much the same as it was when he and Govinda were among the Samanas.

Siddartha's Journey: With the Samanas

Quote: " Are we really approaching redemption? Or are we not perhaps going in a circle?"(17). The quote symbolizes Siddartha's constant uncertainty he has through out the novel when it comes to the teachings of his elders or teachers. At some point through out the novel when Siddartha learns new things form someone, he begins to doubt or question the life he is leading while following their teachings.


Physically: As Siddartha joined Govinda and the Samanas in the forest, and time passes by he begins to become more thin because he has to starve himself. He no longer wore the clothing his parents gave him, now he wears a loincloth with an earth toned cloak. When they needed food, he and Govinda would go into town and beg for food. Later on he would meditate in the forest.


Mentally: Siddartha wanted to depart  himself from everything in his surroundings. After some time passed, he felt everything he was doing was a waste of his time. He began to question the teachings of the Samanas. They had taught him how to detach himself from hunger, pain, or any emotion he was capable of. He then decides to to go meet and follow Buddha with Govinda.


Spiritually: Siddartha at this point in the novel is getting closer to his epiphany on his way to gaining Nirvana. His meditating leaves him at peace since he detaches himself from everything else, but he has not been able to be at complete peace. When he first began living among the Samanas he was happy, but as time passed he questioned the teachings and practices he was following.


Socially: Siddartha only spoke with Govinda while they were among the Samanas. He also associated himself with the people he begged from. He did not have a social status since no one but Govinda knew who he was.

Siddartha's Journey: Hometown

Quote: "But Siddartha did not bring joy to himself, he did not delight himself" (4). The quote explains Siddartha's feelings about being at home. It also reflects how he feels about his spirtuality.  


Physically: Siddartha is a healthy young man in a forest  with his friend Govinda, thinking about his life. He then goes home and waits for his father to ask if he can leave his home to join the samanas. After speaking with his father to prove a point he stays standing in the room with his arms crossed. While living with his parents Siddartha is dressed in clothing of great quality.   


Mentally: Siddartha believed that the life he was leading wan not going to bring him towards enlightenment. Living a life where everything was handed to him did not intrest him any more. Staying hom made him prone to wanting to leave the life he had. After seeing the Samanas in town, Siddartha decided that he had to leave home inorder to grow and find himself.  


Spiritually: Siddartha knew the om, he knew how to know "Atman in his innermost being, indescrutible, at one with the universe"(3). Although he knew all these things, he wanted to join the Samanas in order to reach Nirvana. At this point in the novel, he is not at peace with himself but he's happy when his father gave him the permission to live with the Samanas. At this point he has not reached Nirvana. 


Socially:  Everyone in his town adored Siddartha, practically every girl wanted him to be their future husband. He was the type of person who everyone thought was a great person all around. His best friend Govinda was one of the closests people to him.